Confession ! 'The X-Factor'...

I had two options in life…either give up, get drowned or just stand up, hang in there & wait for the right time…but that required tons of patience and an attitude which was not me.


I was always a go getter…If something was distant then I ran…If something was locked, then I would find the key or break open the lock…I believed in creating my own destiny & I owed this attitude to Shakespeare who said, “Men Are The Masters Of Their Own Fate”. So was I too, but I never realized what fate was…

I also heard people talk and say “Its your fate”, “Leave one to one’s fate”, “That fateful day ”, “Twist of fate”. So is everything predestined or still men are the masters of their own fate. Whatever I do is it the result of a predestined course? or Whatever I do decides the course of my destiny? To answer this question again I had two options…either give up or just hang in there.

To hang in there…I had to alter my true nature and change into something that I was not use to. This was the dilemma which had no quick fixes. I decided to keep moving. I kept doing my bit and left the rest on the X-factor. Yes the X-factor…it is that X thing which somehow let the things come in our favor or go against our wishes. X-factor lets the situation evolve. It makes the picture clearer. It brings a problem to its conclusion. Its that X-factor which has been defined as The Hidden Power, The Devine Justice, also The Will Of God.

But what determines the X-factor…I really don’t know, I just kept doing my bit with a faith… that however tough it may be, however long it may take, however it is looked at by the world, I shall wait, wait and wait for the justice.

Its is this ‘wait’ that changes me…my fear to change disappeared as change was the only option I was left with. I forgot what my true nature was, I forgot how the world looked at me. My goal was justice and I was ready to wait for it.

This ‘wait’ meant being patient for justice and it also meant being undeterred from doing my bit…though the goal I was waiting for now appeared too small infront of the goal my new evolved self could perceive…The changed me was calm, patient, humble and persistent…I could understand myself more. Probably the magic of the X-factor was in my favour, or the changed me was attracting the magic of X-factor.

My First Marathon...7.5 Kms...

First time in life I was running 7.5 Kms or 7500 meters... Sorry guys but how can I, I was always a sprinter... 100 & 200 meters, that was the maximum I ran at any competition... Can I really run, dont know ? at least I can show that I am not worried...

Ok now its the time for a KODAK MOMENT right before the start...all smiles.. but can i really complete the run...

So here we go... there are many who are not running just having fun...ok why not have fun while running...right, thats the key...just run and have fun...!

Oh Mr Khan is here too...wow ! today he is cheering me...but why is he not running...?

Unbelievable ! I ran and ran well...infact all of us did...'Yeh Dil Mange More'...but next year...

See I am smiling...ok let me confess... see how I am trying to smile... it pains at every step...thats why I am sitting...but I ran 7.5 Kms rather 7500 meters...

Ground Zero...

What does this picture remind you…..?
Attack on World Trade Tower or Twin Towers of New York on 11.09.2001…

Now look at this picture…..What does it convey to you

All of us at some stage in life face this Ground Zero…
A moment in life… when dreams are shattered, when the heart is broken, when a goal is lost, when efforts are wasted, when reality destroys the imagination, when preparation fails to meet the opportunity, and when suddenly rather abruptly life comes to a halt…

This Ground Zero is a face-off with reality when years of hard work, patience, endurance, sacrifice, and performance looks wasted. A brutal blow shakes the foundation of towering personality built over a period of time.

I reckon Everything is over, there is nothing left to be destroyed, years of toil is soiled. Ground Zero is the only reality then…

Think about it….. Just think about it…..

Ground Zero…..! It’s a time for reality check…..?

I thank God for this Ground Zero….. this is an opportunity to restart, an opportunity to rebuild as per the new way of life. It’s a time to lay a new foundation which is stronger to face any blow…..

“Arise from ashes when the wind stops,
It can be a scratch or the first stroke on the canvas.
May be your first fall or the first step to walk,
Can be a Ground Zero….. or a beginning for a Hero.....”

If you were the Prime Minister ?

I am fed up now, nothing can work here, there is just too much of corruption & politics. India can never change…..

Well this is probably what lots of you may feel…So can we really change anything ? Can we make a difference ? How about putting yourself in the shoes of the Prime Minister ?

What if you are made the Prime Minister of this country ?
Never thought of being one..

Ok if you get an opportunity then ?
Then what ?

Then what can you change ?
Oh ! everything needs to change..

Fine tell me first three things ?
I will make three things compulsory..

Which three things ?
(i)Education, (ii)One year training in Defense Academy, (iii)Every Industrialist has to share 20% of their profit with the poor..

Why education ?
Because only then none can cheat the uneducated and people will have more skills for employement..

Interesting, and why one year training in Defense Academy ?
Because this will teach discipline, civic sense, and sow a seed of patriotism in every individual..

Ok and why every Industrialist need to share 20% of their profit with the poor ?
To reduce the inequalities of income in this country where rich is growing and the poor is becoming poorer…

Are these three thing enough ?
Yes to being with and well begun is half done..

Why leaders fail to own failures ?

India’s leading opposition party BJP is falling apart. The shocking and the second successive defeat in General elections in 2009 has shook the foundation of the party. The flag bearers of ideology on which the party was formed are restless and uncomfortable in accepting the responsibility for its declining fortunes. Why ?

Why and how is it difficult for the leaders to own up the responsibility for the failures ? Why cant they accept that their strategies have failed ? What is it that stops them from endorsing the failures the way they endorse the victories ?

We look upto our leaders for answers but none is ready to answer these questions Why ?
What stops them ?

The answer is FEAR… It’s the fear of going down in the eyes of those for whom they can never be wrong. Fear stops from introspecting, as they have kept themselves on a pedestal where they think they can do no wrong. It’s the fear of loosing respect which they have achieved after years of saying ‘correct’ to every wrong for their leaders, on whom they have modeled themselves. Fear of loosing that false self esteem which has been inflated by the hoards of ‘Yes Men’ that always surround them.

This Fear has paralyzed not just the leaders of political parties, but also leaders of many corporate giants. It is this fear that needs to be conquered first, as it erodes not just the foundation of leadership but also the faith in it.

Something we always want

Acknowledgement, acceptance, appreciation, attention…

Why do we need a friend in life ?
Why do we need parents in life ?
Why do we need relations in life ?
Why do we need mentors in life ?
Why do we want to share our life ?
Friends, parents, relations, mentors and companions, they give us something.

We want this something that gives us satisfaction.
We want this something that gives us happiness.
What is this something and why do we need this something ?
This is something that makes us who we are,
Something that defines us and our attitude towards life.
It is this something that makes us feel important, needed, and wanted.
It is this something that acknowledges, accepts, appreciates our presence and existence.

Something we sometimes fail to understand or comprehend ?
As humans our basic instincts demands our presence to be acknowledged, and our doings be accepted and appreciated.And this that something that reaffirms our basic instincts.

Are You HAPPY...?

Are You Happy ?
Yes.

Good. And what is happiness to you ?
Getting what I want and when I want it, is happiness.

What if you don’t get what you want and when you want it ?
Well then I strive for what I want.

That’s is still not what I want to know ?
Means what ?

If you are not getting what you want then are you happy ?
Off course not.

Why ?
Because my efforts are getting wasted.

Are you sure ?
Now whats that ?

Are you sure that your efforts are wasted ?
Yes.

How ? If you can explain ?
Well my time, money, the physical & the emotional labors is wasted.

How are they wasted then ?
Well they are wasted because the end result is not what I want.

Is the end result important ?
Oh come..on !

No really, is the end result important ?
Yes, that’s why we all live and work…

How ?
We live to achieve the goal we set for ourselves

So these goals are the end result ?
Yes.

And if we don’t get them the way we want them then ?
Then we are not happy…

So happiness is dependent on end results ?
Yes

Then we will always be unhappy
How ?

Because nobody can get everything they work for.
So ?

So do you want to be happy or unhappy always ?
Off course happy always.

Then don’t think about the end result.
That’s not possible.

Why ?
Because then we wont have any goals.

Goals and end result are different
How ?

Goal is a ‘Motivator’ and end result a ‘Trap’
How ?

Well motivator forces you to put in effort but end result traps you to only see what you get in the end.
Isn’t it more important to get what we want in the end ?

Not as much.

Why ?
Because the trap of end results takes away the happiness

What kind of happiness ?
Happiness of putting in efforts, happiness to solve difficulties, , happiness to appreciate every new thing learned while encountering problems, happiness to acknowledge our own potential of reaching this far… This is the state of being Happy always…Its in our hands…

POK or COK ?

Pak Occupied Kashmir(POK) or China Occupied Kashmir(COK) !
What is termed as POK by India or Azad Kashmir by Pakistan could soon be renamed as COK ! This is indicated by the increasing presence of Chinese army in area.

Two senior political leaders of POK, Abdul Hamid Khan and Dr Shabir Chaudhary claim that the areas of Gilgit & Balwaristan are under heavy influence of Chinese army.

After being asked by the Pakistan’s government, Chinese entered the area to build roads, highways, bridges and dams. Earlier it was only men of technical and non-technical expertise from China who were temporarily employed for the purpose. But now even the Chinese army is used, and they are making permanent base for themselves in many parts of POK. Pakistan is under tremendous International pressure for creating trouble in Jammu & Kashmir, thus there is a shift in its strategy and China is encouraged to make permanent base in POK, which can source trouble for India in future.

It seems China is following the foot steps of America. To fight the Russian forces its was America who helped Taliban on the western side(Afghanistan) of Pakistan and now its China which is helping Taliban and its allies on the eastern side(POK) of Pakistan to fight the Indian forces.

The situation is alarming, till now Indian army only recovered arms and ammunitions made in China from the terrorists operating in the Jammu & Kashmir. But with Chinese army present in POK, we wont be surprised to see a breed of terrorists trained by Chinese army or even men of Chinese army as terrorists.

MJ reduced to despair !

As I dig for every piece of information available on MJ, his last moments, his life, his childhood, his albums and his addiction to drugs. Fascination with my childhood idol pass from joy to despair.

He was a legend till he was mysterious. MJ’s life is out in open and every word of his biography has a stroke of red ink. He pioneered music videos, sold millions of albums but couldn’t moonwalk through his past.

He had the last laugh, for all the childhood abuse he faced from his father. The sweet revenge is taken, Joe Jackson’s name has no reference in MJ’s will. Though but for his father none could have pushed Jackson 5’s lead singer to the heights he was able to achieve.

MJ missed his childhood and he loved children. So after he is gone, its strange to understand why he is not even a biological father to anyone of his three children.

MJ’s present was his choice and so were the drugs that killed him. His family, friends and his fans feel cheated, cheated because they loved him but he didn’t...

JAAGO INDIA JAAGO

“Curry bashing in Australia continues, one more Indian student stabbed”, “LeT founder Hafiz Saeed set free in Pak”, “China makes a naval base near Srilanka”… Ok we’ve had it enough, for how long and how much can we tolerate? When will India react? When will Indians react? JAAGO INDIA JAAGO!

For the new govt the honeymoon is over…we expect a befitting reply. Enough of diplomacy, now its time for some straight talking. If that is not enough then some tough actions too, to wakeup our eventful neighbors.

Its high time… we need to understand that nobody can help us to solve our problems. We need to defend ourselves. What has talking yielded? Creating International pressure and using diplomatic channels has never been enough! If someone slaps us and our guest then should we ask others to warn the offender? If we visit a friend’s house and his family goes on bashing us then should we talk to the friend or first defend ourselves (in this case attack is the best defense). JAAGO INDIA JAAGO.

Is there something wrong in being more competent? Is it wrong to save money and then have the luxury to spend it the way we want to? We are the major contributors in Australian economy, is this our mistake? If not then Aussies have no right to treat Indians like this. And Indian govt shouldn’t have waited for 100 killings in twelve months to finally react vocally. Also the problem lies in our mindset. We Indians have a fascination for foreign shores, strangely we try to be a better second class citizen in a foreign country then a good first class citizen in our own country.

We have talked enough! We talk when we are attacked, we talk when we are bombarded, we talked when were kidnapped and we talked when the whole nation was held to ransom on 26/11. And this what too much talking does...”LeT founder Hafiz Saeed set free in Pak”. Well we talked when our Parliament was attacked, when serial train blasts happened in Mumbai, then too the main culprit Hafiz Saeed was put under house arrest and then set free.

Sometimes we don’t even talk…when Srilanka was uprooting LTTE we were almost quiet…This silence was golden, as it proved out to be after the results of Loksabha elections, where DMK bagged 18 out of 39 seats in Tamil Nadu. And India lost a close friend in Srilanka who is now helping China with its port plans in a Hambantota, in gratitude for the arms and ammunitions supplied to the Lankan forces.

JAAGO INDIA JAAGO… Its time to wakeup and react. We’ve been taken lightly for too long. Our patience is tested enough. Now its time to payback in the same token. JAAGO INDIA JAAGO

Corridors of memories

As I walk past the corridors of memories, I realize I walked quite a mile, yet the road looks less traveled.

There were days which were difficult and then there were days that were comfortable. As I stand in the middle of this road, it seems every day was just a bend in the road. It was my stride that made them different.

There are miles to go and every bend gets steeper. I need to go through this road as the lesson of life becomes clearer.

Introspect !

So this is how I look at it. Surely there is a problem but with every problem there is solution too. Its comfortable to just look at the problem and question why me ?

How can I come out of that problem ? Who will help me in finding the solution ?

None !

But why ? I have helped many. Why cant someone help me ?

Because they are not suppose to...

Why not ?

They dont owe it to you...

Ya, but atleast someone can ?

No...

Now even i wont help anyone ?

IF YOU CAN HELP OTHERS THEN YOU CAN HELP URSELF TOO !

But I need a friend ?

No you dont...

Someone with whom I can share ?

So its not a friend but a companion you need...

Ya may be ?

Ok then when you find one will you be happy...

Yes...

No you wont be !

Why ?

Because someday even that companion will go ! Then what ?

?????

Then will you ask for one more companion

??????

And what if when he/she too will go ?

Then what should I do ?

What does that mean ?

I am alone and I need someone ?

Are you realy alone ?

Yes ! ?

No you are not...

No I am...

Were you alone when you were born ?

Yes...

No you were not ?

How ?

Your conscience was and is always with you...

So ?

Listen to it ! Understand it...

Understand ? What is concience ?

Its that sound which knocks you from within...

How ?

When you do something wrong, something write...

Can I feel it ?

you always do...

No ?

Yes you do but you ignore it...

When, how ?

When you are greedy, when you know its not going to work, when you think that you should not do what you are doing...

How will I know its conscience and not greed knocking from within ?

The way you are able to answer all your questions now...

Is this my conscience answering?

Yes and it knocks when you are honest to yourself...

Date (Tareekh)

Tareek pe tareekh… the date-game goes on… Now I am able to understand the significance of dates.

Oh yes ! I still remember my ‘first date’ but that was just the beginning…Well dating is not what I am thinking right now.

I am trying to understand how a particular date make a difference in our lives ?

Dates are a cocktail of time, moments and events. The dates gone by are a bundle of memories which heal, teach, inspire and makes us wiser. The dates to come are a source of hope they give a reason to get up every morning and do something to meet the deadline.

Every date is unique, it can bring a moment of glory or a day of disappointment & then its time to look upto the next date. So I repeat Tareek pe tareekh… the date-game goes on… as I have one more date in the court.

Break-Free

Viewers despise it, when the program is griping but I feel blessed to have long commercial breaks when I am anchoring... For a channel its a healthy signal, long commercial breaks always mean higher revenue. For a discussion based news show these breaks can be great source of ‘tadka’ in the creative content.

Much earlier in my career as a journalist I learned the importance of off-the-record sound bytes (interview when the camera is not rolling), it was a back-up weaponry of every reporter who wanted to be different. Similarly in a television news show the conversation with the guests during a commercial break always brings out an element of surprise and humor.

Today was the day of the third phase of polling for Loksabha elections in the country and while anchoring the live show I discovered some interesting facts about the politicians… courtesy the chats with guests during the long commercial breaks.

It was interesting to know that a senior politician hates to cast his vote in hot summers. His daughter is always ready with a magical spray for his face, to give him much needed freshness. One of the chief ministers in the country is on dieting spree. And some of the youth icons in Indian politics are remote controlled by their political managers. Well these are some of the facts worth mentioning here & off course in keeping with the tradition of a true journalist the source of information is not disclosed.

'Newsroom Fidayeens'

What motivates these guys? Money. Creativity, the rush of adrenaline, or the purpose of giving back something to the society…

Welcome to the newsroom, a place where every event is tracked, every news is monitored, every statement is evaluated and then assessed… But who does all this ?

Well they are the crazy bunch of guys who call themselves and incidentally even the outsiders address them as journalists.

These fidayeens can even embarrass the ones with Taliban… The television news fidayeens have an impact which is beyond imagination. Their thinking penetrates every household 24*7. They are governed by a main body who is governed by the TRPs. Television rating points is the double edged sword that can strike the journalists and the viewers at one go.

Again it’s the newsroom that is the scabbard for this TRP sword. The Fidayeens of newsroom sharpen this sword…It’s a nonstop high pressure job where every second is calculated and every word evaluated…

The prerequisites for this esteemed assignment are passion for news, out of the box imagination, adequate writing skills and off course detachment from the family…(one more fidayeen trait).

So back to the main question what really motivates these Fidayeens ?

Ok let the Fidyeen answer himself and this is what he said “Pataa nahin bas mazaa aata hai’.

Election Debate

“Its time for a short break thanks so much for joining us tonight”, as the guests walkout of our studio, I realize the main purpose of this discussion was defeated.

Two leaders from the two main political parties of the country raised their baritones, fought, accused & did everything to prove a point! But what was the point they wanted to prove? Was this a debate? Where were the issues that are affecting the people of this country? Were they addressing the masses or just each other?

This was the first show of our special coverage on Indian Parliamentary Elections 2009. Ironically our esteemed guests still discussed the issues of the elections held in 2004. They are elected by the masses but strangely they address the political classes.

India is no longer a country isolated from the world, every global phenomena impacts its people, whether it is the spill over from the global meltdown or the security threats from most volatile neighboring state. Yet the political class finds it more comforting to discuss religion or castism.

It is convenient to blame the torch bearers of politics for ignoring the issues affecting the masses. But are we not the ones who elect them every time? As the representative of the largest democracy its our responsibility to make it the strongest democracy in the world.

May be then we can see an Indian Obama and Indian McCain debating on a television channel!

Love you Dad...

Present

So what are your plans for day after tomorrow ?…well I don’t know what I will do tomorrow ?…the day after is too far to even think off ?

How can someone be so unplanned ? still I envy this attitude. It’s a style statement of people who truly live in the Present. They enjoy and live every moment of now. Challenges excite them, as they untangle the knot in the Present. Strangely the day’s balance sheet is always tallying. Assets and liabilities are matched, debits and credits are evened out. The end result is usually a peaceful sleep.

Present is the moment of glory. The road between future plans and past lessons is tiresome and unending. Living in the Present on this road can smoothen the journey.

Destiny

What is destiny ? Two people born at different time, different place and in different family end up in the same place at the same time and meet the same fate... an end unforeseen by many soothsayers.

I question the theory behind destiny and the ones predicting it when I read the news reports… “Many die in the serial bomb blasts in Delhi”.

They were all very different, some were atheist, some extremely religious…their destiny were known to none except the ones targeting them !… but were they all destined to be there at the same place and at the same time ?

If it is true that destiny is what we make out of it, then how come we all end up doing things we never planned to ? Who controls this element of uncertainty ? If it was known then this too would have been controlled by the ones who planned the serial bomb blasts…

Judgement

How can he? He is wrong! He has no right to do this…

One of the most natural instincts of humans is to judge and pass a verdict. Judging comes naturally to all of us. It starts from the moment when we learn to think. Its a God gift to the mankind who derives pleasure in being a critic. It gives an instant shot of ego. Its simple, easy and extremely satisfying, especially when we assume a position of a Judge (not referee). Opinions are natural when meant for others, detaching I from them is simple and even simpler is passing a verdict on them.

Its them and not I who is judged, I is judging. Who then judges I ? Can I judge himself ? Can I be unbiased in judging I?

Judging is an art of taking a stand or having an opinion with the moral obligation of being unbiased, can one take a stand with no bias?

Radhe Radhe

His eyes were magical, all of a sudden I was lost…

forgot all my worries and pain,

Even forgot what I wanted from him…

just kept looking in his eyes…

Shubh karman tey kabhu na taroon...

Deh shiva bar mohe iha, shubh karman tey kabhu na taroon,

Na daroo ar siyoo jab jah laroo, nischai kar apne jeet karoo,

Ar sikh hao apne he mun ko, eh lalach hau gun tau uchroo,

Jab aav ki audh nidhaan banay, aut he ran me tab joojh maroo…

Grant me this boon 0 God, from thy greatness, May I never refrain from righteous acts,

May I fight without fear all foes in life's battle, With confident courage claiming the victory,

May Thy glory be gained in my mind, And my highest ambition be singing thy praises,

When this mortal reaches its limits, May I die fighting with limitless courage…